In a town where political fatigue meets barnyard charm, Fairhaven, Vermont has done what most of us only joke about: they’ve elected a goat. Again.
The now-famous Nubian goat named Lincoln just secured another term as honorary mayor, triumphantly beating out challengers that included a charismatic therapy dog and a highly enthusiastic (if chaotic) ferret. The election was held in Fairhaven’s time-honored tradition of fun civic engagement also known as getting kids to vote for animals in bowties. The voter turnout? Impressively high, considering most of the electorate wasn’t yet old enough to ride a bicycle without training wheels.
🗳️ A Goat With a Platform
Lincoln’s campaign was focused, to say the least. Her promises included:
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Equal access to hay (because no goat should be left behind)
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Improved mud puddle infrastructure
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Universal licking rights, regardless of age, species, or snack possession
When asked about her policies, Lincoln provided no direct answers, but she did chew on a campaign sign and knocked over a watering can which, in political terms, is about as transparent as it gets.
Her campaign slogan? Unofficially: “Bleat the System.”
🧒 The People’s Choice (Especially If They’re Under 10)
The honorary mayor program was originally created to teach local students about civics and democracy, but let’s be honest it has unintentionally become a low-stakes version of the political system we wish we had. No PACs. No scandals. Just a goat with a winning smile and occasional flatulence.
Despite being honorary, Lincoln takes her role seriously. She regularly visits schools, makes public appearances at events, and enjoys being petted by her constituents. Her approval rating? Astronomically high, though slightly lower among residents who own flower beds.
Fairhaven Town Manager Joe Gunter summed it up perfectly: “People enjoy it. It gets the kids involved. And honestly, Lincoln has been less controversial than most mayors.” Oof. Truth.
💬 The Speech That Shook the Barn
Lincoln’s post-victory remarks included several hearty bleats and one dramatic sneeze that scattered nearby straw into a perfect confetti moment. No teleprompters. No spin. Just raw, authentic goat emotion.
Local 8-year-old campaign volunteer Ava described it as, “the best mayor speech ever, because she didn’t even talk about taxes.”
🐾 What This Really Says About Us
It’s tempting to file this under “cute but pointless.” But in an era where people are exhausted by broken promises, negativity, and polarization, maybe there’s something healing in the idea of a goat in office. She doesn’t pretend to fix everything. She doesn’t tweet. She doesn’t even wear pants. And yet… she gets things done. Mostly mud-related things, but still.
It also raises a pressing question: If a goat can win the hearts of a town, what’s stopping the rest of us from leading with kindness, simplicity, and a good-natured bleat or two?
Fairhaven may not be on the map for most political analysts, but it’s a town that knows what it wants and what it wants is Lincoln. She’s cuddly, consistent, and delightfully immune to corruption (though highly susceptible to apples).
So here’s to another term of hooved leadership. Because in a world full of complicated politicians, sometimes the best choice is the one who just wants a nap in the sun and a belly rub from the local librarian.
Long live Mayor Lincoln. May your hay be plentiful and your puddles deep.
